I looked at my watch it was 1:30 pm , was feeling a bit relaxed as I had just cleared my exit test( a kind of evaluation test in my office) which was freakin me out from past few days. I wanted to share this with somebody special so I messaged her . within a moment her reply came “ Yippe….:) “ and a smile came on my face don’t know from where but the feeling was like someone showered me with rose petals. Again a message popped on my mobile “ I m proud of u sweeee…..”, my smile grew broader.
I messaged her back”Had food”
She” yeah I m in coll came wid X , he has his GD/PI …….. had food wid him”
Me” g8……….. my class starts in 10 min see u later……bye”
I said to myself “I wanted chat wid her more……. Why I said this , why I lied……….may be whenever she is with this Boy X it drives me crazy……may be I am like that kid who don’t want to share his toy and feels jealous when some other kid is playing with it” with these thoughts I came back to my training room.
Everyone was shouting in room “ we want party arun u topped the exam……..”. I joined the hooting party as I wanted to get over the thought of Mr. X. As I was enjoying the party planning a message showed up in my mobile ,” Hey X cleared his GD/PI…… he came out and hugged me n said sweetie I did it…….yipeee…….he’s taking out me for a treat”. I felt like someone poured red hot iron liquid all over my body. Suddenly someone announced” guys we can leave for the day” , I signed and rushed out of the room , I needed some fresh air. I came out , took a deep breath , walked towards main road saw a bus, boarded it , within moments my stop came. Came down the first thing I saw was a liquir shop, I said in my mind “if she has Mr X, I also have a darling and she would be only mine” and went off to fetch my darling.
I already had two pegs and I was getting wiser. I started thinking on how my day was, which also included her and Mr. X. As I said I was getting wiser I thought that I was so mean and should ask her about her day.
I texted her “hey……just got home……. Relaxin……. How was your day”
She” well g8 day……..X.Blah Blah Blah………..X Blah Blah Blah…………X and I Had a great day”(This was how the message looked to me……..)
I suddenly got the same feeling what I had earlier the day.
I” I am askin u how was ur day…….nt X”
She” X was juz the part of conversation…….. I was tellin u abt my day……. Why r u behaving lik dis”.
This text of her made me think “why m I behaving like this”…..why I am having this burning feeling inside my heart , why everything getting so weird , why I am not myself , why ??…. But I was clueless……couldn’t find any answer.
I texted her back” hey let’s talk tomorrow ……. I m kind of drunk……….”
She” u promised …..still…… u wouldn’t listen to anyone na……do whatever u want”
I got little furious seeing such a reply , bloody boy’s attitude ” k……. I’ll do whatever I like…….. don’t be concerned about me………. Go wid ur Mr. X”
She”again……. What got into you today…….. why……… nobody told such things about me and X …….. whats your problem….. tell na”
I”Nothin……. Lets talk tommorow…..”
It was around 1:30 am , I was completely boozed out. Again a message came from her , “ call me”.
I called her back , I “ hey………what happened……”
She” tell me one thing honestly……..are u feeling something for me………..becuase no boy would be jealous so much when I talk about X and me…….”
I”well I don’t know exactly……….. but why would I feel such a thing……. We are just friends…….. nothing much…… just chill……” but I got the answer of all my Why’s but still I lied to her , don’t know why , may be again that bloody attitude.
She” but then why are u so upset when I talk about X….”
I was silent for the moment , but then I said” see whenever you talk about X , I feel like I am the second person in your life……….thats it….”
She”what are you trying to say…….. I am not getting you……… I am so pissed of right now….. oh god”
Again came my bloody attitude”so you are pissed off because of me……..then I should cut the phone…………bye…… call If you feel like…” I cut the line……. felt like throwing my phone , thrashing someone . With these thoughts in my mind I don’t know when it went off to sleep.
It has been days since this happened but she never called back , I often ask myself , am I that bad. Does expressing yourself once could endup a sweet relationship. I miss her care , the pamper she showed towards me , the smilies she used to send me……….
The last message I had from her was that particular night “ did u had dinner” , which I see everynight and feel she’s asking me right now.
But I still don’t know…….. why? Didn’t she called back.
