The One in The Past

“Beautiful girls.. all over the world.. I could be chasing..” My phone rang. I was in deep sleep. But somehow I woke up. I picked up the phone.

“hey.. are you awake? The arrival time of your train was four? You reached or not”, dad fired all questions in one go.

“Yeah! I think so.” I looked outside the train window, “Ten minutes more...” I could see the old storage located just outside the station.  This was sign for me that I am home since past eight years. 

“ ok.. wait till the sun rises. Night time is not safe.” My mom shouted from the other side. It seems see grabbed phone from my dad in few seconds while I was checking where I was. She was faster than a ninja. 

“yes mummy. I will wait and come home when sun rises.”  I replied her yawning.

I almost arrived. I could see the old rusty sign saying “TATANAGAR JN.”. I took out my luggage and lined up with other passengers to get out of the little iron box.

 It was still dark outside and little cold. The place was changed since the last time. The parking place was shifted to the other side. The reservation counter now had the glass door. The thing which was not changed was the auto drivers circulating around you like housefly around sugar balls.  But I had the order from supreme commander, wait till the sun rises.

“Sir! Baridih,Sakchi,Bistupur,golmuri. Where you want to go?” An auto driver finally asked.

“golmuri?” It just came out of my mouth.

“Yes sir! Golmuri. Come I will take you” He started pulling my luggage from my hand.

“No I don’t want to go. It just came out of my mouth. Sorry.” I pulled back my luggage from him.

I sat down on the bench putting my luggage beside.  The place had lot of memories attached, both good and bad, bad mostly. This was the reason I had avoiding coming home. I covered my face with both my hands. Took a deep breath. I was aware what I was going to do I will regret bur I was unable to overcome the temptation.

“Bhaiya” I called the rickshaw-wala. Who was searching for another catch after I denied.

“Yes Sir! Where?” he came running towards me.

“Golmuri first, from their I will tell you. I will pay you double but do as I say.” I told him.

“Ok sir.” He grabbed my luggage and I followed him.

“Take left, go along the company wall. There is a watch tower” I guided the rickshaw driver.

 After few minutes I was there, that place Anand Nagar, Golmuri. I read the address written outside. It was the same place. The lights were off. Probably everyone was sleeping in the house.

“Sir! Kahan lagaun gadi?” The rickshaw driver asked.

“just here only. And wait” I replied.

“ahh… ok” he gave me a weird look.

Everything was the same as she used to describe in our late night talks. The company wall beside her house. Her Dad’s car covered and parked in front of her gate. The glass window of her room. The lighthouse inside company premises adjacent to the boundary.  

“Its five thirty Bacha.” Priya said,

“How do you know? We just started talking.” I replied.

“The lighthouse lights went off. We are talking from last five hours.” She said giggling.

“seriously? But it seems like we just started talking. This part I hate most. Now your mom will get up and you have to drop.” I said in a foul voice.

“Aww!! Don’t be sad, you also need sleep. And I am going nowhere. I am always there with you. Now smile and say I love you” Priya replied in a loving voice.

“But I want to talk more. I will miss you baby L” I replied her.

“Mad boy. I love you sooo much. Now you also say.. Bacha” Priya.

“wokay.. love you too baby. Now you can hang up L” I replied her back.

“No you hang up please, I don’t want to” I could feel the love for me in priya’s voice.

“Sir! Its five thirty. I have other work also.” Rickshaw driver brought me back to present.

“yes. Five minutes more please.” I asked .

I went near her gate, took a red brick piece and drew a line. Today I had nothing to gift her. I never thought I will come back.

 I saw a plant with white flowers near the wall. I plucked one flower, kissed and put it above the boundary of her house. The lights of her front room was switched on, may someone woke up, probably her mother.

I signalled rickshaw driver to start and sat down. I looked back, a breeze blew away the flower which I left. This time I didn’t cry. May be we never intended to be together. Destiny was never on our side.

The flower and the mark was just another failed attempt from my side. The rickshaw took a turn and so was I forced to go along.

Sometimes you give so much into a relationship and it does not work. You give another shot but all goes in vain. Yes I had a broken heart. I thought I found my soulmate but things didn’t go my way and so I was twenty four and still single, One break up.

“So sir! Where now? “ Rickshaw driver asked me.

“I guess home!” I looked back and said after a deep breath.

“Yeah Home but where exactly your home is I don’t know” The rickshaw driver replied me sarcastically.

“Sakchi” I answered him. Sometimes, actually most of the times a heavy heart answers make you feel stupid.

The auto driver headed towards my home. It started drizzling. May be god is sad for me or he’s just washing away my past to write something new. 

Get Far to get Closer

Life has its own ways to say things. But we don’t realize what it is trying to convey. When something ends, we believe it’s the end of the universe. We see no light coming in from anywhere. But we often forget every night after the sun sets we have stars twinkling in the sky. All we need to do is look up and it will guide us on our way.

Tushar was sitting in his favourite bar, Sipping down a peg of scotch. Autumn was approaching. He could see the leaves shedding down from tree, beside the window he was sitting. The nest on the branch of the tree was missing the warmth of the leaves. So was Tushar of any human companionship.

It was his birthday in an hour. One more year of life, the beautiful life was about to end. And a new one was about to start. He had the same anxiety and eagerness, when he used to unwrap the gifts as a child. But today he was scared to see what was in there waiting for him.

He looked at his watch, five more minutes before he level’s up. Last year this was the exact same time when he got the most unforgettable text of his life from Shruti. full of all the love and affection which could be in this world wrapped in a single message.

“Happy birthday love. I texted you five minutes before since I wanted to be the first one wish you. May I get the chance to be wish you on every birthday till I die. Love you so much Bacha :* <3 .”

He remembered each and every word of that message. A smile came on his face. Memories which he had buried deep down in his heart started coming back.

“Sir! Last order. Its twelve, we are closing. “The waiter brought him back in the present.

“What? “he woke up from his dreams.

“Sir, we are closing, its twelve. Any last order?” waiter repeated himself.

“No, check please. Thanks.”Tushar said.

It’s a year and five minutes ahead, when he was happy last time. That was the last message he received from Shruti. He never got to know where exactly things went wrong. Just a mail from her saying he was wasting his time with her. She had someone else in her life. He never had chance to talk to her. The one last talk he deserved. One last closure.

He has been living in hell from past one year. Getting tormented from the memories he had of his failed love.

The best memories of our life are often framed in moonlight but also those memories makes you cry in moonlight.

He walked down the stairs. He needed a long walk to cherish the memories or cry out them in moonlight. He was not sure. 

“beep-beep” his phone alerted him that he has some birthday wishes in inbox. But he was not in mood but still decided to take a look. Eight messages and three miscall.

He thought of switching of his phone but a text came from an unknown number. He opened it and started reading.

“Hi,

Happy Birthday. Always be happy. J

Shruti”

 “Why she texted me after a year?” His hands were trembling.

“Please leave me alone. You know, I was waiting for you to contact me from past one year. I wanted to talk to you but i have nothing to say. Just one question why you did this to me? I loved you much. I deserved better.” He texted her back.

“It’s very complicated. I can’t explain you things. Please stay happy.” Shruti replied.

“Huh! Happy? How? I was living in hell from past one year, figuring out where things went wrong. What happened? I was dying every day inside.

I need answers. Please tell me the reason so that I could atleast die in peace.” Tushar asked Shruti.

“Ok! It was my friend Sunny’s birthday three months before we talked the last time. I was drunk and things went little wrong with sunny. I don’t know I started hanging out with him often. I was doing things just for fun but day after your birthday I found out that I am two months pregnant. I am so sorry. I wanted to tell you but I was afraid….” Shruti replied back. 

“What the hell are you talking? You cheated on me. And the whole time I was blaming myself.

Ahh! Why? I was so honest. I was planning my life with you and you. I feel pitty on myself.”

“I am sorry.Please forgive me if possible.” She replied.

“Atleast you could have told me. I would made things right.” I replied her.

“How? There was no way out. I had to end our relationship. Sorry” Shruti said.

“We could have married.” Tushar answered.

“I am married to sunny. Though its not what i imagined but I have four months son.” Shruti texted back the most terrifying and painful words he had ever heard.

 “I can’t forgive you. You ruined everything. Bye.” He pressed send and threw his phone on road. It broke into pieces like his heart.

Three years later…

“Sorry madam, but we need fathers name in there.” The Clerk said to Shruti pointing towards a blank space.

“But I am single Mom. My child doesn’t have a father. Please this a about my son's life.” Shruti pleaded the clerk.

“Are you kidding me? How can a baby be born without a father?” The clerk replied back smiling sarcastically.

“Only sharing his DNA does not make one a father. Now would you please tell me my Son will get admission or not.” Shruti’s voice showed her anger.

“Sorry Maam but to get admission DNS does count. You can try any other school in this city or any other city.” The clerk without looking at Shruti replied her.

“But…This school was my last hope.” Tears rolled down Shruti’s eyes. 

Shruti has been struggling to get admission for her son since two months . But every where it was same story, father’s Name. A small blank on a child’s admission form was enough to blank his whole life.

Shruti knew her one mistake four years ago has not only destroyed her life but also of her son. She leaned against the wall in clerk’s office, Slid down on the ground. Put her head into her lap and more tears.

“Maam, Please don’t make a scene here. We have other parents also coming.” The clerk asked her to go out.

“Please can’t you make an exception? It was my fault. Why my son has to pay for it. “She pleaded again for her son leaning against the wall.

“Please maam!! Leave or I have to call security.” There was rudeness this time in the clerk’s voice.

“Tushar, Tushar bhardwaj.” A voice echoed in the clerk’s office.

Shruti knew that voice. She leaned up against the wall.

“Tushar?” Shurti’s lips murmured by seeing Tushar after four years. She was surprised.

“And who are you sir?” Clerks asked Tushar.

“I am the one for who’s name you will fill in the blank column here.” Tushar pointed towards the Father’s name in the admission form.

“Ohh!!.. ok” the clerk was surprised.

“Why are you doing this?” Shruti came close to Tushar and whispered.

“I also don’t know” he replied her back smiling.

“You know that we can’t be together.” Shruti said in anger but whispering.

“I know, we can’t be together. But I have in living in hell for four years. I travelled, I went far. I thought I will forget you but I was not. I tried hating you. But then I realised I can’t do that. I can never hate you. “Tushar replied.

 “But why this? My child does not have a father” she replied.

“You remembered the last time we talked on my birthday. I said this would have been our baby, my baby. And you only said Sharing DNA does not make one a father.

I promise you I will be a good father, though we don’t share same blood line but we both love the same woman a lot.” Tuhsar said holding Shruti’s face in his both hands.

“I am sorry. But after what I have done with you I can’t do this anymore. Every time I will see you I will feel guilt.” Shruti was sobbing.

“See Shruti, after whatever happened I changed, I tried hating you but I was not able to. You are the one with whom I want to spend my life. I have left everything behind. I have moved very far to get closer to you. I want you in my life. It’s ok if you don’t want but atleast let me be the father of your child. Please. I beg.” Tushar said wiping Shruti’s tears.

“I have no words. I am sorry. I don’t know what I want but thank you. You are a good man. My son is very lucky to have father like you. “ Shruti said resting her head on tushar’s chest.

“Congratulations your son got admission. You can collect the textbooks on next Saturday. On back side of form is the address of the tailor who makes uniform for our school. Thank you and both of you can leave now. Next. “The clerk replied.

What occurred in past is past. Mistakes happen, we are humans, the species best known for its poor judgement and also for the its amazing quality, emotions. which differs us from every other species on this planet exhaling and inhaling oxygen. 

Sometimes you have to move far in life to get closer to someone. Either is distance or emotions you have to leave things behind and move.

 If you really want someone, get far to get closer. 

Another story of getting closer. Courtesy British airways. 
Link : http://bit.ly/1epU8Uj